_{Pyar is Pyar}

Despite Canada legalizing same-sex marriage in 2005 and earning a reputation as a haven for LGBTQ+ refugees, acceptance hasn’t yet reached every corner of the country. In cities like Surrey, often regarded as conservative, queer people of colour still struggle for visibility and inclusion. Angit and Joshna understand this all too well.

"Pyar is Pyar" is the Hindi saying for "Love is Love."

Angit Modaher (she/they) grew up in London, navigating the complexities of being both South Asian and queer for as long as she could remember. As a Sikh non-binary person with Punjabi roots, she faced the dual challenge of reconciling her identity while living in a predominantly white society that often viewed her as an outsider.

She was 14 when she had her first crush on one of her classmates. During her teenage years, Angit was timidly going out with girls in the city, carefully hiding her love adventures from her parents. Her mother had suspected her sexuality long before she officially came out at 24. At first, she was shocked, but she became a vocal ally over time. Even Angit’s father, though initially distant, grew to accept his daughter's full identity.

The heart wants what it wants, and nothing—not even societal pressure or religious differences—could stop that. The latter was especially true when Angit started dating her now-wife, Joshna Hirani, at the hospital where they worked together—Angit as a physiotherapist and Joshna as an occupational therapist.

Joshna Hirani (she/her) is a Gujarati woman born in Nairobi, Kenya. At 17, her family immigrated to London, seeking a better life. After five years in a heterosexual marriage, she went through a long journey of self-discovery, embracing her sexuality, and finally finding a fulfilling love story with Angit.

What began as a polite exchange of nods in the hospital hallways blossomed into something deeper. Their feelings culminated in a heartfelt proposal during a trip to Portugal and a colorful wedding in London in 2020.

For Joshna, coming out as pansexual was far from easy. Unlike Angit’s parents, her mother struggled to accept her sexuality, unable to reconcile it with her orthodox Hindu beliefs. Her father had passed away when she was young, leaving her mother as the central figure in her life.

For years, her mother refused to acknowledge Angit as anything more than a “friend” and completely stopped speaking to Joshna. While her siblings were supportive and prioritized her happiness, the rejection of her mother cut deep. Although they have since started talking again, the topic of Joshna’s marriage to Angit remains avoided.

The two decided to move to Surrey, Canada, to explore their identities and begin a new chapter together. They hoped to start fresh in a place where no one would know them, away from the judgment of their respective conservative backgrounds.

Angit took the first step in 2018, while Joshna joined her mid-pandemic shortly after their wedding.

What they had tried to escape had followed them all the way to Surrey, Canada: a hidden queer culture overshadowed by societal judgment from peers.

In the 2024 provincial election, the BC Conservative Party, known for its socially conservative positions, achieved a significant win in Surrey, securing the majority of the city's ten ridings. Additionally, Surrey has become a focal point for protests against the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) 123 curriculum in schools.

Come as you are, whoever you are

After the performances, people gathered around a communal table and an open kitchen filled with vegetarian samosas, Thai curry, rice, chai, coffee, and an assortment of sweets. It was a time for mingling, as older members warmly welcomed newcomers—many of whom were not South Asian—sharing stories about their lives and journeys as queer individuals.

What the couple didn’t expect when organizing this event was how much they’d be embraced by the Sher Vancouver community. Members often describe them as the beating heart of Sher, a sentiment that still surprises Angit and Joshna.

Angit and Joshna’s journey with Sher began as a simple search for meaningful connections. Seven years after moving to Surrey, they finally found what they had been searching for: a queer community they now lovingly call their "chosen family."

Words: Chaimae Chouiekh
Editor: Alfred Hermida and Uytae Lee
Photography/Videography: Chaimae Chouiekh
Wedding pictures: courtesy of photographer Harpreet Kaur
The second picture of Joshna and Angit at Vancouver Pride 2022: courtesy of a Sher Vancouver volunteer